Words We Say (to ourselves)
Last September, I reflected on the words we say to others: do the words we speak out loud foster life or cause death? Today, I reflect on the words we say to ourselves. Like the words we speak out loud, these words can bring life or death to our own souls.
Powerful mind
Our mind is powerful. I read in the book by Will Bowen, “A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted”, that the body believes what the mind tells it. In the book, he used a real-life example to illustrate this point.
He went to the hospital to visit a woman parishioner that had had a stroke. Prior to entering her room, he spoke with the nurse, asking about the woman’s state. The nurse told him that in a couple weeks, she’d be almost as good as new. He entered her room and sat by her bed. The woman told him she was dying and asked him to do her memorial service (he’s a pastor). He informed her that she was not dying and proceeded to convey what the nurse told him. She didn’t listen to his words; didn’t believe him or her medical team. Two weeks later, he spoke at her memorial service.
Wow! Although we may not speak words to ourselves about physically dying, I’m sure most of us say things to ourselves that affect how we behave, feel and move around (or don’t move around!) in this life.
Recurring narratives
We all have negative recurring narratives that go through our minds. These narratives make us small, weak, fearful, overloaded, tired, paralyzed, just to name a few. They prevent us from embodying the human God designed, created and planned for us to be.
Lately, my heart (the organ) has been on my mind. I had blood work done and in spite of being in relatively decent shape, my cholesterol levels are high. I’m not surprised; my dad died of heart disease. Daily I am trying to adjust my eating habits and incorporate exercise that’ll help my heart. Because of this, I found that my mind kept landing on my dad’s health and my genetic makeup: a massive heart attack at age 65 and his death at age 71.
I decided two nights ago that any time my mind goes negative regarding my heart, I need to say something positive. The sentence I came up with: “I have a strong, confident, courageous, loving heart.” As you can see, it covers not only my physical heart but also emotional, other areas under attack.
As I type this, I notice I am reacting to my negative thoughts. Wouldn’t it be even better to go on the offense, be proactive?
Our subconscious
I read that our our subconscious is more receptive to suggestion right before we go to sleep and right after we wake up. Tonight, going forward, I intend to say this statement to myself until my mind fully believes it and my negative thoughts dissipate.
What non-serving, recurring narratives run through your mind? How can you reframe them? Can you write these reframed thoughts down and repeat them until your mind truly believes them?
Storing
Our thoughts are a byproduct of sensory input. What we listen to, watch, engage in, affects our thoughts. Garbage in, garbage out; although sometimes the garbage stays stuck in our minds.
Everyone knows the saying “one bad apple spoils the bunch”, how one negative person impacts the dynamics of the whole, in not a good way. I believe this happens with our thoughts as well: one negative thought about ourselves leads to more negative thoughts.
I decided to google that belief to see if it held weight. Not surprisingly, Google did agree, calling it “negative thought spiral” or “rumination”. From Google: “Negative thoughts are rarely isolated; they are often connected to insecurities, past experiences, or ingrained habits, acting as a trigger for a “snowball effect” where one small, unhelpful thought leads to a full-blown crisis.”
The good news is we don’t have to get into a negative thought spiral. We actually have control over what we choose to think and believe.
Choice
We can choose to think, believe, speak, and act differently. Resources exist that can help us, whether in book form or human (seek professional counseling). Listening to podcasts that help us to be better humans or inspire us benefit us more than those that do not. And don’t forget about music! Listen to songs with uplifting lyrics that you can claim as your own.
We can choose not to take in negativity: don’t spend time with negative people, refuse to be on our phones reading the news or looking at social media at those times when our subconsciouses are malleable; speak empowering and loving words about yourself instead.
We can choose to see ourselves, our identity, the way God sees us: valuable, worthy, loved. His Word tells us this as it speaks life into our lives.
Prayer
God, Thank you that your Word reminds us we are Your masterpieces. Remind us of this truth when the world tell us otherwise. Help us to fix our thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, and lovely. Thank you for giving us a spirit of power, love, and self-control, not fear.
Ephesians 2:10a, Philippians 4:8, 2Timothy 1:7
