Family

This past weekend I attended the 60th birthday celebration of my husband’s client. In addition to celebrating his birthday, which was actually back in February, we celebrated his mother’s 90th birthday. They decided to have the birthday celebrations in the summer so non-local family members could enjoy this area’s summer offerings. 

I have never been to an Indian celebration. From the room decor to the food, bar options, and entertaining Indian DJ, no expense was spared.  What impressed me more, though, was the love and joy of this large family. Listening to the toasts and watching the multi-generational dance traditions warmed my heart. Seeing his mom in her sari, joy on her face as she was surrounded by her family, made me think of my mother.

My mother

My mother always stressed the importance of family. She was 100% Sicilian, first-generation American. Growing up, my mom’s three sisters would come over on Saturday nights to watch TV or play spoons (if Aunt Dee Dee came). We would see my three aunts regularly and the extended family for all the birthday celebrations and holidays. My mom would make Sunday dinner and my grandma (my dad’s mom) would frequently join us.

I loved our family gatherings growing up. But as I moved into my 20’s, they sometimes felt like a burden. I was young, self centered, and wanted to do “my” thing. Even as a married adult, I sometimes grew weary of what I saw as obligations. 

We moved

Then, right after the birth of our second daughter, my husband’s job changed and we moved from Chicago to southern California. My husband was used to living  away from his family, but for me, it was a whole new experience. Thankfully, my dad’s sister and adult children lived in San Diego.  So, I made it a point to reconnect with them not only for myself, but for the girls to have family nearby. 

Moving made me realize what I had taken for granted, my family.

It wasn’t long before my husband’s work moved us again, this time to Oregon where we had no family. We made friends and many of those friends became our new family.  We still made an effort to go back to the Midwest to see both of our families. It was important to me that our girls had a relationship with their aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. As you can see, my mom had done a good job instilling the value of family in me. 

Who makes up your family?

God gives us our immediate family as well as extended family brought in by marriage and long-term relationships. But I also believe extended family can include people God places in our lives to walk alongside us as we navigate the peaks and valleys that life inherently offers. 

Call to action

When was the last time you really talked (or just listened!) to your mom, dad, sibling, or relative? Have you lost touch with someone that was like family to you? Reach out and bless them, expressing your gratitude for their presence in your life.

Imperfect mother

Like us all, my mother was imperfect. But, she did the best with what she was given and her dedication to our family, self-less love, good work ethic and thankful heart are attributes I carry with me today.

My mother, in her later years fighting dementia, wrote down her family history that my sister made into a photo book for my siblings and me. My mom recorded stories from her life and expressed gratitude for the family she grew up in and in turn had. 

 I will end this blog with the book’s last sentence as my mom wrote it, imperfectly perfect as it is.

 “FAMILY: a five-letter word with a million dollar value”.

Prayer

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and earth derives its name (Ephesians 3:14-15). I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers (Ephesians 1:16).