Feeling Less Than

Have you ever experienced feeling less than? You may ask “Less than what?” and the answer, I believe, is “Less than them.”

Feeling less than does not discriminate between confident and insecure people, although insecure people may experience the feeling more often. One word, look, or disregard from another sets you down that dark path of feeling inadequate, not wanted, left out, unheard, unseen, etc.

Less Than Scenarios

Maybe you are a parent of a young child that will not nap or adhere to any kind of schedule and your friend with similar aged child does not empathize with you but rather makes you feel less than because their child is perfect, or so they say.

Or a family member makes you feel like you cannot do or say anything right by commenting directly on your stupidity or making a sound or gesture that makes you feel like a complete idiot.

Maybe you partake in sports and feel like your coach has put you in a box. Teammates get all the action while you sit on the bench. You feel useless to the team.

At work, management skips over you for a promotion or a jealous coworker makes your life miserable, possibly going to management to complain about you. You feel not seen. Or maybe your boss has ego issues and makes sure you and everyone else knows who is in charge. Even though you know this is their issue, it makes you feel devalued.

Consequence

When you feel less than, you may not realize that you are allowing someone else to dictate who you are, allowing their opinion of you (or what you think they think of you) to define you or set the standard. When we compare ourselves to others, we give the other person more value than we give value to ourselves. That opens the door to self-doubt.

What is the root of doubt? Is it insecurity? Judging oneself? Striving to be perfect and failing?

God made us each unique for a reason. The world would be a boring place if we all were the same. We can be secure in the knowledge that God placed each of us on this earth for a reason. Judging others and ourselves serves us no purpose. Expecting or striving to be perfect is impossible. All human beings are imperfect.

Learning to accept and give grace to ourselves while embracing our imperfections enables us to love ourselves and be content. Until we do that, we are not fully capable of doing those same things for others the way God commands us to do.

Nip it in the bud

At the onset of feeling less than, we must consciously make the effort to not let that feeling take root. We remind ourselves of who we are in God’s eyes. We continue to work on loving ourselves, reminding ourselves that others are human and have their own insecurities and issues. A lot of times people make others feel less than because they want to feel better about themselves.

I am not suggesting nipping this less-than feeling will be easy. We are humans and have feelings. The trouble comes when we act based on our feelings. This is where faith steps in, trusting God to help us replace erroneous thoughts with His perspective.

Supernatural help

God is always with us and can help us if we ask. He gave us the Bible so we could turn to it in challenging times. His Word tells us how God sees us, loves us, empathizes with us. It can guide and comfort us and show us how to tap into God’s strength and power.

Do your part

Make every effort to be aware of how you speak and treat other people. Do not be guilty of making someone else feel less than. This may require you to slow down and think before speaking to ensure your tone and words are not hurtful. Listen more. Have eyes for others. Love yourself and love others more.

Lastly, ask yourself, “Do I surround myself with people that accept me for who I am? Or am I spending time with people that bring me down?” If you find the latter to be the case, change the situation. That alone will help eliminate a lot of feeling less than. As a friend said to me once “Go pick a new tribe” and then do it.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, Remind me to fix my thoughts on what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable. Help me to love others like You love: to be kind, patient, humble, not self-seeking, not rude or easily angered. Increase my faith to trust You at all times and to pour out my heart to You, my strength and refuge.” Philippians 4:8, 1 Corinthians 13:, Psalm 62:8