Forgiveness

Mark Twain said “Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”

Forgiveness, by definition, is the intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. A person extends forgiveness to someone that has wronged them in some way.

Extending forgiveness challenges us. Sometimes we actually manage to forgive the offender. We move on. An event occurs that reminds us of the past offense. We relive it, any forgiveness erased.

Refusing to forgive

Sometime we choose to refuse to forgive. Choosing not to forgive hurts ourselves. We harbor grudges, entertain bitter feelings toward the offender. Our thoughts torture us as we relive the offense. Our negative view of the offender heightens as our pulse races. Hate begins to eat away at our peace and calmness.

Refusing to forget

Other times, we refuse to forget the offense. We might even claim to have forgiven the person. Spite takes root in our minds. We exert mental energy on blaming. We resent and bitterness take root in our hearts. Where spite and bitterness reside, forgiveness does not. Refusing to forget, like refusing to forgive, inflicts inner torment upon us.

Jesus commands forgiveness

In the Bible, Jesus instructs Christians to forgive without limit. When we do wrong against another, He expects us to right our wrong. We have the choice to obey Him and humble ourselves. We can ask for God’s help in giving us a humble heart and strength to do the right thing.

Being Christian does not make us infallible. Jesus died and shed His blood on our behalf, allowing us to stand forgiven before God. We forgive others as God has forgiven us.

Having trouble forgiving someone and/or forgetting an offense? Ask God to soften your heart and help you forgive the person. Memories haunt you? Ask God to erase the memories. God can fill the void of painful memories with His presence, power, truth and love.

Check in with yourself

We become victims of our own poison when our hearts contain anger, hatred and bitterness.

Ask yourself:

• Is there someone I refuse to forgive or something I refuse to forget?
• Am I keeping score against someone?
• Am I not speaking to a family member or friend because of something they did or said to me? Or I said or did to them?
• Am I harboring ill feelings toward someone that hurt someone dear to me?

The answers to these questions may shed light on where some forgiveness might be in order. As you forgive, relief and freedom will release the poison you unknowingly administered to yourself.

Prayer

Dear Forgiving Father, thank you for accepting us as we are. Give us the courage to face the truth, which ultimately sets us free. Enable us to forgive from our hearts and to not keep score. Where we have caused an offense, make us quick to acknowledge our wrong and do whatever is necessary to be reconciled with the people we have offended.

(John 8:32, Matthew 18:35, 1Corinthians 13:5, Matthew 5:24)