Giving Grace

Has anyone ever told you to give yourself grace? Or have you said that to someone? What exactly does that mean? How do you go about doing that?

During my cancer journey, people would tell be to give myself grace. I would nod even though I really was not sure how to go about doing that.

Grace from Christian perspective

In the Christian world, grace is God’s free gift of salvation He offers us through Jesus. In scripture, many verses of grace tie to God’s character of love, compassion, faithfulness, forgiveness and His longing to be gracious. Grace is God’s active power and empowering presence poured into our lives that enables us to be who He created us to be and do what He has called us to do.

God loves us even though we as humans do not naturally love Him back. We like to have control and do things our way. We tend to be self-focused more than other-focused or even God-focused.

God’s supreme expression of grace, and love for us, came through Jesus who died so we could be in the presence of a holy God. We do not have to do anything except accept this gift of grace from Him.

Grace as found on google

If you were to google “give yourself grace”, you might see this quote: “permission to forgive your mistakes, lapses in judgement, and hurtful behavior because no one is perfect.” I noticed this quote was posted on November of 2020 so I guess I am not the only one thinking about grace.

Give yourself grace – mentally

When I am frustrated with myself, tired, in pain, or not liking myself for whatever reason in the current moment, I hear myself saying “give yourself grace”. I literally scold myself, reminding myself of the positive that counteracts the negative thoughts rummaging through my head.

Some of my scolding phrases, in third person, may include: “Stop judging yourself.”, “Stop striving.”, “Embrace your imperfections, they are what make you who you are.”, “Remember how God sees you, you are His beautiful creation, you are worthy.”, “Be patient.”, “Be kind.”, “Love yourself.”, and “Stop with the negative self-talk already!”

Give yourself grace – physically

Other than positive self-talk, what actions can I do to receive grace?

First, I give my body what it needs, without guilt. I practice more self-care. That may mean I say “no” to an invitation if I am overcommitting my time to others. Maybe it means I take a walk in nature, read a mindless book or watch a funny or sad movie. Or maybe I sit and watch the birds and squirrels in my backyard.

Sometimes, a lot of times, I need God’s help. I sit in stillness so I am able to hear His voice or I read His word to remind me of His truths and how He sees me. He knows what I need to hear or if there is something I need to do.

The bottom line is if I cannot be kind, forgiving, loving, non-judgmental to myself or embrace my imperfections, how can I be kind, forgiving, loving, non-judgmental and accepting of other’s imperfections? How can I fully extend grace to another human if I cannot extend the same grace to me?

Ask yourself

What does “giving myself grace” look like for me? How can I consciously extend more grace to others I encounter in my life? Is there someone I need to forgive? Have I accepted God’s grace and if not, what is stopping me from doing so?

Prayer

Out of the fullness of God’s grace we have all received one blessing after another. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Lord, help us to show grace to others by forgiving those who have offended or hurt us.

(John 1:16, Hebrews 4:16, Colossians 3:13)