Letting Go

Has anyone ever told you to “Let it go”? Sounds simple. Some of us torment ourselves by not letting go of any number of things.

Past hurts

I found myself rehashing a past hurt from five years ago. A conversation with a friend unearthed the memory of this hurt. Belaboring the memory, I brought the past hurt back to life. Why could I not leave this hurt dead in the past? I failed at letting go.

Regrets

Moving on from past hurts, triggered, I went on to past regrets. The past regret I had related to not being there for a new neighbor with a newborn. This occurred probably 20 years ago. In the past I mentioned my regret to the neighbor. It’s water under the bridge. Why do I continue to hold on to it?

We regret choices that we made in the past. The past has come and gone. We cannot change our past choices but we can learn from them. Moving forward, we make better choices. We do not repeat regrets. Like trials and tribulations, learning from our past mistakes and regrets grow us as humans. We need to stop judging ourselves.

Self-judgement

Which leads me to the topic of self-judgement. Our inner critic tells us any number of things we failed at. We feel not quite good enough. Negative views of ourselves take over. We lose sight of our uniqueness as an asset. What strengths and accomplishments? Resilient? No, not according to the negative narrative running through our heads. We judge ourselves for our lack of perfection.

How do we stop letting these negative thoughts define us? By learning to step back and observe them without attaching judgement. When we make a conscious choice to shift our narrative, we silence our inner critic. We talk positively about ourselves, reminding ourselves of our strengths and accomplishments.

For those that read the Bible, we remind ourselves how God sees us. We try and see ourselves through His eyes. If we fail, we ask Him to help us view ourselves as He does: worthy, wonderfully and lovingly made.

Negative emotions

Maybe we do not have an issue with self-judgment. Instead, we have trouble letting go of negative emotions. We allow them to keep us small, dictate our behavior.

Three negative emotions that came to mind that I find debilitating include: fear, anxiety, anger. I could probably have a blog topic on each of these. For now, I will just touch upon their toxicity.

Fear prevents us from stepping into the unknown. It prevents us from growing and reaching our potential. Anxiety, like fear, causes us to waste time. We hold on to fear and anxiety, spinning our wheels over things we cannot control.

Anger causes strife and breaks down open communication. It makes others feel unsafe. Spewing anger serves no one. Neither does holding onto it. Anger that we hold on to allows bitterness to take root in our hearts. The more bitterness takes root, the more we turn into bitter people.

Seeking a trustworthy professional can help us work through the negative feelings we hold on to. We can turn to God. He speaks to us through His word. We speak to Him and He hears, listens. As we spend time with Him, He help us. We have to take action by releasing whatever scares, worries, angers us over to Him. Trust Him with it. As we change our perspective, we boldly approach the day, expecting God to show up with us.

Reflect

Is there something you harbor that serves you no good? Something you need to release, to let go of? Might you consider letting go of it today?

Prayer

I praise you, Lord, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. Help me to see myself through Your eyes. Enable me to let go of whatever tries to diminish the person you created me to be. As I present my requests to You, You hear and fill me with your peace. You guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 139:19, Philipians 4:6-7