Slowing Down
The concept of slowing down to enjoy life sounds simple to do yet I find it a bit challenging. From walking fast to having a busy calendar, slowing down seems impossible. The world is busy, life is busy.
Forced to slow down
Back in 2020, the two “C’s” slowed me down. COVID reared its head and I got diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Doctor appointments, transfusions, surgeries consumed my life. My body could not walk fast or do what it normally would do. I found even sitting, listening to people to be exhausting.
Forced to slow down, as suffering will make you do, I became more aware of my surroundings and people in my life. Like a child discovering the world around them, I began to rediscover the world around me. Strolling around the block I noticed the sounds of the birds, squirrels, playing children, barking dogs. I stopped and smelled the roses and looked up at the sky and all around.
With my normal routine squashed, I had ample time on my hands. I spent many hours sitting on my deck in nature and with God. Waiting for appointments, I looked at the people around me. Sitting in my infusion chair, I learned about the people who attended to me or sat getting infusions next to me. A lot of times I spent sitting, staring out the window.
After infusions and surgeries I had a lot of time by myself. Some of us need to learn how to do be with ourselves. I needed to learn how to do this.
Benefits of slowing down
This period of suffering in my life taught me how to enjoy spending time with me, being me. Literally stripped of any physical beauty I had, I had to look in the mirror and be OK with what I saw. I do not regret that time of suffering. Through it, I learned how to truly embrace me, my imperfections and not judge myself for them. Spending time alone with myself and with God, I learned to see myself more clearly through His eyes. I began to truly love myself and embrace the being He created.
I enjoyed my quiet time with God, time for self-care, to self-reflect and to grow. Some people avoid these things. Without realizing it, they may not want to see what is inside them. Maybe on some level they believe if they avoid it, it does not exist. I know I find it easier to avoid things. Being busy really helps with that!
Taking time to be alone to self-care, reflect, and be quiet allows you to embrace every part of you. God speaks to us through His word. He speaks to us through nature. God uses people to speak to us. We all have room for improvement. If we acknowledge this without shaming ourselves or ignoring or sabotaging ourselves, we can grow and learn to love ourselves, flaws and all.
Old habits return
Fast forward to now. As I try to maintain some balance, I noticed that the busyness of the world is starting to creep into my life again. I noticed I am not always 100 percent present with people or in nature, allowing my phone to grab my attention. My quiet time has shortened. My mind wanders and I am not always intentional with that time. More and more days I have overbooked myself. On the days I am not running around, I feel unproductive; choosing to watch TV over sitting on my deck or be alone coloring, doodling or writing. I am a borderline sloth at times.
Wake up call
I suppose writing on this topic is a wake up call for myself. Maybe it is a wake up call for you too. In slowing down, like with most things in life, we have to be intentional and disciplined. Both of these require effort on our part.
We must choose to be intentional with how we spend and schedule our time, allowing margins or “empty” space in our days to account for the unexpected or to spend by ourselves. If we are “yes” people, we must learn to say “no” more often.
If we are with people, we must choose to be present with them 100%; intentionally put our phones away (or watches, if connected to phones). Schedule quiet time with God, with yourself and show up for that time.
I do believe each day we are given is a gift that we should not take for granted. If we begin to look at the world the way a child sees it, we will begin to notice colors, bugs, plants as if seeing them for the first time. If we begin to walk as a child learning to walk walks, slowly taking one step at a time, we have time to take in our surroundings and notice blessings.
Slowing down to be present allows us to enjoy the journey of life with a grateful heart, full of love for others and for ourselves.
Prayer
Lord, Your word says there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. There is no reason for me to rush through this life. Help me to be still before you. As I slow down, allow me to enjoy each day that you give me as well as the people you place in my life. With Your love, You will calm all my fears. With Your love, You will help me love myself as well as others.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, Psalm 37:7, Zephania 3:17
